Two days before my ACL reconstruction surgery, someone I cared about walked away.
What made it even more devastating was that movement had always been how I processed life. I had run through my divorce. I had walked through parenting challenges. I had lifted weights after difficult days teaching. Movement was where I healed.
Suddenly, I was facing the loss of a relationship and a surgery that would take away the very thing that had always carried me through hard seasons.
I remember wishing I could go back and change something. A different trail. A different conversation. Maybe if we’d gone to lunch instead. Anything that could erase that moment.
Instead, two days later, I was lying in bed.
A mom of four daughters. A kindergarten teacher. An athlete whose health and identity had always been tied to movement.
Now I had to process everything in stillness.
It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
What I learned was that healing had never really lived in the running, the lifting, or the walking.
It lived in me.
Movement had been the vehicle. I was the source.
I had to stop outsourcing my healing and begin trusting that everything I needed was already inside me, in my heart, my resilience, and my ability to take one small step at a time.
Three days after surgery, I went to Pilates. I modified everything to one leg. I rode my Peloton with one leg. I started physical therapy. I built friendships I never would have made otherwise. I leaned on my mom while she helped care for my four girls. I cried. I rested. I worked relentlessly on my rehab.
Every day, I simply did what I could do.
Some days, that wasn’t much.
But it was enough.
Looking back, every meaningful accomplishment in my life has been born from struggle, not comfort.
I didn’t finish my master’s degree because life felt easy.
I didn’t become stronger because everything was “rainbows and butterflies.”
Growth has always met me at the crossroads where I had to decide which version of myself I was going to become.
I choose my road.
I choose my hard.
I choose my actions.
I choose my identity.
Most importantly, I choose me.
To everyone recovering from ACL surgery...
We’re part of a club that few people truly understand. It’s why we all say this recovery is more mental than physical.
The knee heals.
But somewhere along the way, so do we.
One day you’ll look back and realize you didn’t just rebuild a ligament.
You rebuilt your confidence.
You rebuilt your trust in yourself.
You gathered proof.
Proof that you can survive heartbreak.
Proof that you can do hard things.
Proof that the strength you were searching for was inside you all along.
And the next time life asks something difficult of you, you’ll already know the answer.
“I’ve done hard before.”
Keep going.
Choose your actions.
Choose your identity.
Choose the person you’re becoming.
Because you are capable of far more than you realize.
🌅 Hanging By Sunrise